personal

Bedtime thoughts

/ Marjorie Sanpietro / Leave a comment

I haven’t had much to write in a while. I’ve been struggling since December with recurring migraines. My anti-depressant seemed to crap out on me and I went through the process of trying/fiddling with a new one. We are working on finishing the school year on a positive note and to that end I am encouraging the kids to follow their own interests more. I was super excited last night because my 7 year old put together 3 wood building kits in one sitting. It’s fun to watch your children develop their own interests and preferences. It’s definitely one of the things I find rewarding about parenting.

We have been doing some spring cleaning; our landlord has some minor things she wants to get fixed. So it was kind of mentally enforced but ALSO rewarding. I have been working hard to keep up on our progress and also get to things that normally get neglected. I finally used some store credit that I have been hoarding on Wayfair to buy an EXTRAORDINARY shelf. It’s huge – and now it’s full. We have about 100 books that need homes but now we have two empty shelves to play with.

I have been making decorations for a birthday party. It’s for a close family member and I’m really proud of the work I have done. My anxiety gets me sometimes; have I done enough? Will the person like it? Will the person who asked me to do it, like it? Will someone notice that teeny mistake I made? But overall I enjoy it and I think she’ll like it. I enjoy using all sorts of materials; but I find paper especially rewarding. My AWESOME husband and AMAZING mother went in together on Mother’s Day and I now have a Cricut Maker! So I’ve cut out lots of beautiful shapes with that in paper and vinyl – and also am going to attempt some 3D projects as well. I am super excited to see what else it can do. I discussed it with my husband; it’s like having another person helping me.

I’ve been working for my county health department doing contact tracing and making wellness calls for several months. It’s nice to get out of the house and into an office setting. I really enjoy being helpful and of service during this worldwide crisis. The crisis is slowing down and we currently have less than 20 active cases – so I did not work this week. I have really mixed feelings because I AM so happy that COVID is not as active; people are getting vaccinated and it is much easier to social distance when it is warm out. I’m worried that the need for my services is winding down and I’ll have to say goodbye.

That is going to be hard for me; I’ve never worked somewhere where I’ve felt like I belonged so much. I am happy being of tangible and real help to people without the emotions or drama. This is why I’ve never been like OH YES let me just get that Master’s in Social Work or keep going for a higher degree in Psychology. I am really proud of myself; I’ve been told repeatedly I am doing a good job. I try to put my best foot forward whenever I am there – I know I can be moody. Co-workers have described me in the past as having an on/off switch. I’m either ON – productive, communicative, and pretty much awesome – or OFF – moody, debating life choices, and hating everything.

Some of this has resolved with age and life/job experience. I’m better at looking back at past experiences and deciding what my role was in them. Yay! I’m finally maturing at 34 after being married 13 1/2 yrs with 2 children. There’s an infographic floating around explaining brain maturation in individuals with ADHD – in personal experience, it’s so frickin true! I’m about 27 or 28 in my head. Sometimes I think that I’ve been playing at being an adult for many years – and I’ve only really been one in the last year or so. It depends on your definition of adult – I know some people who definitely HAVE NEVER GROWN UP.

Currently – because I suddenly decided to write – my children are being very quiet so I don’t tell them to go to bed. I thought I’d update the blog with some of my real thoughts and experiences. So that’s where I’m at…

Have a great night,

Marjorie

(written May 26, 2021 P.M.)

Oh YAY! It’s another school day…

/ Marjorie Sanpietro / Leave a comment

It’s Tuesday morning and we are sitting at the dining room table where we do 90% of schoolwork. The boys have copy books I make them to practice their handwriting and vocabulary/spelling books. They HAVE them but they are not writing in them. They are discussing/playing with a fidget cube. Daniel actually redirects and starts – Aaron is cheerfully non-compliant. Less cheerful when I get involved.

The cat is scratching up my new chair for the umpteenth time. I have a super-sized Little Mermaid mug filled with hazelnut coffee and pumpkin spice creamer.

The chair destroying perpetrator. He’s lucky he is such a pretty cat.

Today is still better than yesterday. I was struggling with my insomnia and couldn’t get myself moving until 2:00pm. Guess that was a sick day, folks.

After our writing and vocabulary practice – we are going over a growth mindset series from Khan Academy. That’s been a win – the kids have been asking about it – and I’ve heard them reference it in conversations with me and between themselves.

Daniel will probably work on his Native American project first – we’ve beaten this subject like a rug – and I had such high hopes for it. Aaron is going to work on fractions. He soaks up new math work like a sponge. We learn a new concept very fast and then we go and review old ones.

And we’re still working on writing, while discussing how no one slept while last night.

More screwing around…

I overestimate my patience. God bless teachers everywhere.

Aaron is chanting “Albert Einstein” and has taken 25 minutes to write 3 lines of text. The dogs are wrestling like lunatics in the living room but at least they aren’t snacking on cat litter or chewing my boots. Small blessings, y’all.

Aaron’s copy book – I make these semi-weekly with quotations, sayings and jokes. The kids at least sort of enjoy it – if they like what they are copying.

Daniel is re-writing Christmas songs and loudly singing his creations. Aaron just needs to write “Einstein” and WE CAN MOVE ON. So as slowly as possible with letter by letter updates is the way he’s choosing to go.

Then he threatens to erase it – and my first lovely swear comes out.

Is this a scene you are familiar with?

Later, Aaron and I spent an hour on building a Lego ice castle. He just wasn’t in the head space for sit-down and write work. We got through it – a battle at a time – but I always have the nagging feeling that we could have a better day.

Daniel worked resolutely – but he takes his time – he gets very distracted. I was pleasantly surprised and a little gratified when he self re-directed. I didn’t have to say a word! I’m still working to help them be more independent learners. Today, Aaron actually used a word book to look up spelling while writing in his journal. Small wins.

I didn’t know why I started chronicling our morning but I like how it ended up. I guess the point of this is that each day is made of good, great, not so great and just plain bad moments but the bad moments are worth the good ones.

Tuesday started like a hurricane – ended a little stormy – but there were some really great moments that I don’t want to forget.

Lessons from Anne Shirley

/ Marjorie Sanpietro / Leave a comment

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD- Stop if you’ve never read the books and go read them.

I’m re-reading (probably for the 5th time) the Anne of Green Gables series by L.M. Montgomery. This is probably my favorite series of books ever. I was probably 9 or 10 when I read these books the first time and I skimmed A LOT. As a grown-up, I’m discovering new points that I never saw when I was a child.

Pexels.com
  1. It’s okay to indulge your children. Marilla was raising Anne the best she could – L.M. Montgomery doesn’t seem to describe Matthew and Marilla’s life pre-Anne very much but from their characters, I infer they didn’t have very happy childhoods. She starts out hard but her love for Anne begins to soften her and continues to do so throughout the series. She becomes devoted to Anne’s happiness which is all anyone could ask of a parent. I feel that she was trying to build resiliency in Anne but she didn’t understand that Anne was already very resilient and needed love. Matthew got that. For the whole first part of the book – Anne is lamenting that she doesn’t have puffed sleeves and Marilla is firmly against it. Matthew goes behind Marilla’s back because he realizes that Anne feels left out and has low self confidence in some ways. He feels like more fashionable clothing will help. This is a simple solution to a more complex problem but very symbolic in the story. This is when Marilla starts loosening up. Matthew goes to bat for Anne a couple of other times in the same way. I think there are at least two questions you need to ask yourself when you are answering these kinds of requests – one is are they being left out of something because they don’t have the coveted item? The second question – is it harmful to them?
  2. Be yourself – you’ll find your tribe. Anne and I were kindred spirits when I was younger. I was an odd kid. I didn’t know how to relate to my peers. I did better with adults and children who were younger than me. I lived in my head. I was very intelligent but prone to daydreaming and losing interest. Anne was adopted by Matthew and Marilla when she was 11. I sort of started losing my “inner Anne” when I was about 11. I fell behind in school and I didn’t know how to handle the new social intricacies of pre-teen kids. Anne’s lesson is that it’s ok to be yourself – people will find you and love you. I’m learning that lesson slowly as I get older. I am coming to terms with the fact that I’m not for everyone. I want to be – so I try very hard to connect with other people. Trying too hard is my biggest issue. But I have found some tribe members – my husband, a few friends, even brief interactions with strangers that I know mean something. Anne found people who could appreciate her for her uniqueness and uncommon contribution to their lives. I’m so appreciative of the people in my life. “Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”― L.M. Montgomery
  3. Mistakes are how we learn. Anne made a ton of mistakes. One memorable one is that she dyed her hair green in an attempt to change it black. The next time she tried to “meddle with her looks” she made a lotion from a recipe in a magazine, but instead used a red dye. After that, she poured the lotion out the window and decided that she would not try to change her looks in the future. She also sold a cow that wasn’t hers, twisted her ankle because of a dare, and got her friend drunk. Marilla gives her consequences but doesn’t seem to hold her past mistakes against her and as she grows up – allows her to fix her own. We’ve all made plenty of mistakes – but we learn from them, too. “Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it… yet.” – L.M. Montgomery
  4. Find beauty in the everyday. Anne does this from the first chapter in the first book. She imagines that if Matthew does not pick her up that she will sleep up in a tree. She finds the idea very romantic. As they are driving to Avonlea, she names all of the scenery. The Avenue becomes the “White Way of Delight”. She continues this throughout the series, sometimes allowing her friends to join her (but that’s how we end up with Birch Path). She loves flowers and uses them to decorate the house often. At first, Marilla is not enthused but by the second book enjoys and admires Anne’s floral arranging. She also finds the good in her experiences and people. She accepts people for who they are and seeks to find the good in them. Aunt Josephine – not known for happiness or fun – grows to love Anne and becomes an important figure in her life. Anne sees the possibility in her and she rises to it. What needs a brand new, shiny name in your life? What could use some color and brightness? Who can you notice the good in? “Look at that sea, girls–all silver and shadow and vision of things not seen. We couldn’t enjoy its loveliness any more if we had millions of dollars and ropes of diamonds. – L.M. Montgomery
  5. Everything can be improved upon with imagination and hard work. Anne did an equal amount of both. She was an exceptional student in school and won a prestigious scholarship. She was not afraid of any chore that Marilla gave her. However, when she was lonely before she was adopted – she had imaginary friends and thought about how her life could be better. She and her friends created an improvement society for Avonlea and tried to make real changes in their surroundings. I think the lesson is – imagine what could be and make it so. This can have varying results – like Anne’s aspiration to be a raven haired beauty or trying to change her name to Cordelia. At least she took her thoughts and tried them out. “Because when you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worth while.” – L.M. Montgomery

Because these books were published so long ago – you can read them and other books by Lucy Maud Montgomery for free at Project Gutenburg.

Homeschooling Resources

/ Marjorie Sanpietro / 2 Comments

Disclaimer: I’m writing as a newbie to homeschooling.

I’ve never done it before but we decided as a family that it was our best option this year. Our district is offering a hybrid school week – with in person learning for two days and distance learning for three. They are also offering a distance learning only program. Neither of those feel like great options for us. I’ve been exploring how to start for a few months because I wanted to be prepared.

Photo by Wendy van Zyl on Pexels.com

Homeschooling has always appealed to me and I’m kind of excited! One thing I like about it – flexibility! We are going to go at our own pace and schedule. I can also spend extra time on things that interest my children and on things that they need more help with.

In order to start homeschooling in NY, you must submit a letter of intent (LOI) to your school district. It should include your children’s names, ages and grades and state that you are homeschooling for the year. If you’d like some help writing one – you can use mine!

After that, you have a certain amount of time to submit an Individualized Home Instruction Plan (IHIP). This follows the state’s requirements and includes the curriculum you will use to teach your children. I’ve seen examples that are both very simple AND extremely detailed. Here is a shell to get you started!

Your child is required to be in attendance for the substantial equivalent of 900 hours or 180 days. You should keep some kind of record in case it is requested and for your own purposes. My plan is to use this academic calendar and mark whether each child is “present” or “absent”.

I’m using Brain Quest workbooks to get started and to get a better idea of what needs to be covered in each grade. I don’t think these will be adequate to use for our whole curriculum but I do like them as a beginning framework. I have no idea what 2nd and 6th grade look like these days!

I’ve also been following a classmate who’s been homeschooling for 5 years and runs a successful blog and home business. Kristy has made a great list of her articles and ideas that will really help new homeschoolers! I always love the chance to give her a shout out!

That’s what I’ve got right now! Let me know if you have any questions or ideas about homeschooling in the comments below!

When is it Art and When is it just Mess: An Exploration.

/ Marjorie Sanpietro / Leave a comment

During these last few weeks, I have been working on quite a few projects. I had a yard sale and THOUGHT I needed something else to keep me busy. So I started working on a desk and chair set I found on the side of the road.

I started out painting the wood parts white with plans to use blue metal enamel that I had purchased for another project. The white paint didn’t really speak to my soul – so I started decoupaging the chair with ripped pieces of dictionary pages (one of my favorite materials). I broke out the enamel to do the metal and just sort of said huh…I wonder what that would look like on the paper.

My husband called on his way home from picking up auction purchases – another new hobby of ours…and I told him I was either making art or a mess. That’s how I still feel about it. So what’s the difference? And how far is too far? Comment below to let me know.

Sometimes you make a mess when you’re creating a piece. That doesn’t mean the completed work you make is a mess. I’ve been making little signs out of pieces of wood. The wood almost looks like the back of stamps, but they stand up well. I was trying to stencil a tiny pineapple on a couple of tiny pieces. I went through 8 pieces to get ONE perfect pineapple – I still need to get another one but I’m a little worried about going through 8 more!

My point in telling both of those stories is to remind myself and maybe you that creativity is a process and not everything we make is going to be perfect and may take a couple of tries. We should keep trying if we have that creative spark. I know that I have to feed mine.

Get Your Game On! or How I Turned Our Summer Around with Gamification

/ Marjorie Sanpietro / Leave a comment

I was worried that my kids were going to be spending too much time on electronics this summer. I had let them have free reign for a few days and they began to look like little zombies. In response,  I made a daily to-do list with time for electronics scheduled in after they completed what I thought were worthwhile activities including time for play. 

We had a few good days with it and then we were all sick of it. I felt like an enforcer and the kids felt nagged. Neither of those feelings were what I was going for. 

Then I changed my perspective…

My main goal was to keep them busy and off the electronics. It wasn’t to micromanage their day. Inspiration finally struck at 2 a.m. the other night.

Photo by Lucie Liz on Pexels.com

I turned their day into a game or “gamified” it.

Google says gamification means “the application of typical elements of game playing (e.g. point scoring, competition with others, rules of play) to other areas of activity, typically as an online marketing technique to encourage engagement with a product or service.” 

An article titled Gamify Your Life from entrepreneur.com says that playing a game can trigger intense emotion and winning brings a great deal of satisfaction to a person. This is due to neuro-chemical activity in the brain including dopamine – which produces the sensation of pleasure. If you organize your to-do list to include pleasurable activity when you complete other tasks – you are starting to use this concept. You would be teaching your brain to associate completing those tasks with enjoyment. 

That accurately describes my new approach. I took the same to-do list and turned it into a menu of activities they can do to earn points. The points can be used towards time on the television and game systems. This is another important component of gamification.  Entrepreneur.com cites Tom Chatfield who did a TED talk – one of his points was that every bit of effort should be rewarded. 

The kids get a visual reminder of their point earnings because I am handing out poker chips as they complete things. I assigned higher values things that I especially want them to focus on. Everyday simple tasks that can be done in less than 5 minutes are worth less. If they go through a simple morning routine of getting ready each day – they can earn their first 40 or so points. It sets them up for success and even their minimal efforts are rewarded. 

There are some other elements that are covered in both the TED talk and the article that I haven’t incorporated yet – so I’m going to be thinking about it. One that I think will require deeper thought because I find it very important is the incorporation of both long and short term goals. 

Applying the principles I covered here was easier than you’d think. I feel that the most important element is the point system. However, I think the visual appeal will turn out to be important as well:

If you compare these two lists – which is more fun and exciting? I feel like I threw a smiley face on the first one at the last second to save my butt. I’m really proud of the second one – I tried to find more exciting fonts and came up with a cool title! 

My kids are highly competitive – so I had to lay some ground rules fast. I told them that this game is about their own personal growth and that they should not brag about or compare points.

If you want to try it – here is the list I made! Get Your Game On!

If you want to try gamification in your own life – I recommend Habitica. You have a little character and they level up when you complete your daily tasks, to dos, or complete a habit you want to adopt. There are pets to collect and you can level them up too. It’s a to-do list that’s fun for grownups!

The best gifts are free…

/ Marjorie Sanpietro / Leave a comment

Dear Readers,

I recently posted about father’s day gifts that you could make inexpensively. My son did even better and made his gift for free. Except that it was priceless.

I offered the options on the list to both kids and my youngest chose the mug (which turned out beautiful). When I give the boys choices, I try to leave room for their own ideas. Sometimes it’s hard because I get excited too and have visions of how things should look.

Anyhow, my oldest said that he’d like to make a video for his Dad. We worked on it in two sessions. I had him practice what he’d like to say and then I jotted it down for him so he’d have notes. We used WeVideo to record him and used it in clips to break up the pictures. We also recorded it as audio only for mixing purposes.

With WeVideo we were able to intermix video, pictures and a sound track to make about a minute and a half worth of footage. He loved how we put everything together and had a great time picking music, pictures, and transitions. I really reccomend this tool because even the free version was amazing!

It was fun to make it with him because he was very engaged! It was truly special to see how much my husband enjoyed it! 💜💜💜💜💜

Marj💜

Comment below with a favorite gift you’ve given or received!

A Little About Me and the Journey I’m Taking You On

/ Marjorie Sanpietro / Leave a comment

Hi, I’m Marjorie!

This blog is a new endeavor for me but not the first time I’ve started a website. One reason I keep trying is that I like to write. Another is that I’ve always thought knowledge and experience should be shared. I have some unique experiences and ideas to share with you.

I’ve lived in TX, finished my Bachelor’s degree while parenting a young child, struggled with depression for ⅔ of my life, and I’ve been married for 12 ½ years. It feels funny to compact that much life experience in one sentence but those are all true facts!

I’m 33 years old and I live in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY with my husband, our 2 sons, 2 dogs, 3 cats, 2 rats and a betta fish. We have a full but fun house! The rats are the newest addition- my youngest son has been thinking about small pets for a very long time. He has put a lot of effort in keeping his room picked up and has made effort to learn about the care and handling of this type of pet. I’m really proud of him!

I feel like each of these experiences have shaped me into who I am today and they might be valuable to someone else.

I love crafting – you’ll probably see a link to my crafting portfolio on facebook and an Etsy store in the near future. I like upcycling, jewelry making, fairy gardening, and paper crafting. One of my favorite materials is old books – especially dictionaries and encyclopedias. I use them to decoupage and to cover paper mache projects. 

I’ve also enjoyed writing how-tos for craft projects – and making sure to give ideas about how to customize and expand upon them so they will truly be your creations! 

 As a family – we love books, podcasts, and games and I’m excited about posting reviews of things we have enjoyed over the years! My husband and I are both committed to spending quality time with our children and we have many hobbies and interests together.

I think that a family who plays together stays together. We’ve been learning Settlers of Catan and Dungeons and Dragons most recently. We also play Magic the Gathering – although I’m a little rusty (my eldest son’s preferred partner is Dad). For those of you who are like Magic…what? Maybe I will get my oldest to explain it to you. 🤣

I’ve been considering homeschooling because of the situation with COVID-19 and as I learn more about it – I plan on sharing it with you! I was also homeschooled for a few years and I have some takeaways from that experience. When I think about what education might look like in our family – I picture project based learning. Loosely my plan is to develop a list of things my kids would like to learn about and make sure to work that into their regular schoolwork. 

For example, my 6th grade might say that he would like to learn about whales – we’ll do a research paper on whales for ELA and Science and perhaps Art will be an illustration. I do plan on having workbooks available and I feel that they will be handy to gauge whether they are on track. I’m also looking into IXL but I don’t plan to place a huge emphasis on it. I’m going to be developing this more as I go along.

In true summary fashion – expect to see highlights of my crazy home life, craft projects and tutorials, reviews of fun stuff, and homeschooling ideas! That’s all for now! If you’d like to know more about me, feel free to either email me or comment below with a question!

Marj 💜